Sharing Love

Ok, I'm going to talk about this since I now know that I'm not crazy (thanks, Roni). :-)

So, just this morning it hit me, how am I going to "share" my love between Isaac and our second child? Am I going to love her as much as I love Isaac? I just look at Isaac doing ANYTHING at all and he makes me smile...he brings me so much joy that I can't imagine having to share that joy and love. I know I say it all the time, but Isaac amazes me every single day and I just love him so much…how do you share that feeling? I'm sure that I'm just being crazy and every mother has gone through this (I know of at least three now), but it really kind of freaked me out this morning. I'm also sure that once she gets here, I will love her just as much and she will amaze me just as much as Isaac does. But for now, I can't help but think about it.

I remember about 6 years ago my sister telling me that she wasn't sure she would love her second as much as Mikey (he was 7 at the time), and I thought she was crazy……I just didn’t get it, I guess. I didn’t even have ONE child at that point…and was barely married. LOL!! I completely forgot about that conversation probably as soon as we had it...until now. NOW I see what she was talking about. It's not that I'm not going to love her, I just can't imagine how it's all going to work out.

With all of these pregnancy emotions I have going on right now, I know this is going to seem insane once she's here. I honestly can't wait to see what she'll be like...how she'll look...WHO she'll look like. I guess my hope is that I will be able to show her how much she is loved and was prayed for......just like Isaac. I hope that I am a good enough mother to let her know that I will ALWAYS love her and protect her......just like Isaac. I will always be there for her when she needs me, even when she thinks she doesn't need me. I guess my fear is really that I hope she will be able to KNOW and be able to SEE how much we love her.

Come to think of it, I think all of this is coming to light since everyone's second pregnancy is different from their first and in the same exact way. Obviously, during the first pregnancy, there wasn't another child that we were taking care of, so we were completely focused on getting everything ready for him. And with the second pregnancy, we DO have another child to take care of and since she's not here yet, all of our free time is spent taking care of and having fun with Isaac. I also hope that Isaac is able to share since he doesn't really like when the other kids at the daycare come up to me when I'm there to pick him up. LOL!